After 6+ years in YouTube, it’s the time to say goodbye. It’s not that hard, because every one is replacable in this size of company. Everyone is just colleague, not like the close friends. But the world is small and I’m still in Google, so we may see each other some day.
Decide to leave
The best time to leave is once I get the L6 promo in the year 2023. But I was lazy and wanted to have some break, which delayed my leave for 3y. I wasted 3y in the same team, just repeating some boring work and keeping the same scope. Last year, I got a lot of pressure because of the team’s chaos environment. The project roadmap was not clear, even I did a lot of work to explore the tech roadmap but nothing was supported by the leads. So my concern and work seemed stupid. In H2 the project was more clear and I started the design. But I was told the implemention was also my work, and I was the only one engineer. Also I was told not to touch other parts because they were belonged to other people. But later other people could finish the project, which blocked my project, then I was told I didn’t drive the project well. I just want to say, FXXX YOU!!! In the end of the year, I was told I got general rating because I didn’t do any lead work. TRUE, because I designed a fundenmental work and implemented it in 1Q, also reviewed 1k+ CLs. Another L7 manager told me the hard work is not enough for good rating, instead you need to do some lead work and have some other team member execute it. TRUE, but I was the only enginner for this project.
Last year, every 1:1 with my boss, we argued for some tech details, which is not expert area of my boss. I understood he had a lot of pressure, but he could not control his emotion. I’m tired.
In parallel, I tried to switch a new team. Looking many AI related teams, but failed. One team provided the offer on Friday after a meeting with the director. But I didn’t say YES immerdiately and asked for delay the reply on next Monday. Then the director silent rejected me. Haha, unbelieve it.
Eventually got 2 offers. I had to reject one team, even though I like the manager. 3/16 I was happy to tell my boss it was the time to say goodbye. 3/27 would be my last day in the team. I would take 2 weeks off.
2 weeks off
4/1-4/3 I went to ski. It was a good time to ski before the end of the 2025/2026 season. I can ski the black dimond, but it’s a little hard for me, so I felt too tired after the black dimond. But the blue line is easy and relax for me, I can enjoy the speed. Next year I hope I can ski on the black dimond without any problems. After that I can try snowboard.
This ski season I went to ski alone twice. The feeling is mixed. One side I can ski a lot without waiting and teaching my son. Another side I feel lonely, even I can ski more. But you don’t have anybody to talk, to share your happiness or sadness. I always cherish the time my kids give to me. They teach me how to share and grow with them. When they grow up and leave me, I have to figure out some other ways to spend my time.
It happened a traffic accident during the driving to the ski resort. The worst accident I experienced but I was safe, just the car body had some dents, requiring $6.3k to fix because I don’t have the collision insurance. It’s too expensive to have it and I think I drive safely all the time. But you never know when the accident will happen.
Anyway I’m still thankful all the family members are safe, just lost some money.